katfood

polenta “fries”

paul had his wisdom teeth out last week so i’ve been making various forms of mush for awhile now.  one of those mushes was polenta. (which auto correct would like to make “tadpole” which has me ROFL-ing).  i cooked the cornmeal with some garlic and salt and later added butter and some herbs.  as per BOB’S RED MILL’S suggestion i dumped it into a bowl, let it sit for awhile, then slid it onto the plate.  the point is to let it set and it holds it shape then you can cut it.

bob’s red mill.

k so i cut it into some big squares and topped it with a quick tomato sauce i threw together and some grated parmesan.  paul looked horrified watching me cook the bubbling porridge but ended up loving it. SO THERE.

then just right now i got home and was ravenous so took some leftover polenta, cut it into “fries” and FRIED IT (duh). served with a bit of the tomato sauce (ketchup?! shut up) and some parmesan on top.  it was so delicious (in a picture) that noted comedian (and skatebaord photographer) andrew norton thought i was a restaurant.

dinner tonight: part 1

BREAD. i dont know how to make bread so i consulted this “simple whole wheat bread” recipe

kinda used it but added wheat bran, maple syrup instead of honey, did about one cup of white flour and the rest whole wheat, um no butter, etc.  basically just used the recipe for the times and the resting and the kneading and the yadda.

erin’s version:

1 c white flour

3-4 c whole wheat flour

1 c wheat bran

a bunch of sesame seeds AND I DONT KNOW WHY

1 packet of yeast stuff

a splash of vegetable oil

a tsp-tbsp of maple syrup

pinch of salt.

i just mixed it all up because who cares it’s not science. (yes it is?). let it rest for 30 minutes like the goddamned recipe said. then kneaded it for a bit adding extra flour as needed so it wasnt super sticky. 

let it rest again until it got real big (think liiiiiike double f’s).  smooshed it into a pan and sprinkled with extra sesame seeds.  let it rise a bit more before putting it in the oven at 350 for half an hour-ish.

look at that- an attractive lump of flour and stuff. YUM.

stay tuned for dinner part: the rest of dinner.

food lately

roasted potato soup with roasted garlic, onions (and potatoes obviously). so yah, roast all that stuff in the oven with some salt and pepper and oil until it’s nice and brown. MEANWHILE, fry some bacon in a pot, then remove it (for a garnish later…who wants limp chewy pork pieces in their soup?), then chop the stuff that was in the oven and put it into the pot. then pour some stock in there (beef, vegetable, WATER, who cares) a bit of cream if you want to and some grated cheese if you want to. serve with some more cheese on top, the bacon and green onions…sour cream would be a great addition if you want to ensure the collapse of your heart. 

ohhhhh also some biscuits.  forget how i made them but im willing to bet it went something like this: 1cupish of flour, a tsp or so of baking powder, maybe a 1/4cup of butter and some milk to bind it all together. OH! also grated cheddar. once again, to ensure the demise of your organs/health.

usually when i cook a venison tenderloin it’s just roasted in the oven on really low for a really long time. HOWEVER, I THOUGHT, ‘hey i bet it’s really good and tender if you cut it into thin-ish strips and quickly fry it’. it is. it was. made a sauce with fresh ginger and orange and soy sauce and chilis and i dont remember what else and some mushrooms and broccoli and carrots and green onion and sesame seeds and stuff were in there too.

easy/use all the leftovers dinner (IT’S A FRITTATA). iiiiiiii fried some bacon (theme) and set it aside. sautéed some onions and mushrooms in the fat and set that aside. MEANWHILE you have some potato slices boiling until they’re soft but not too soft. THEN YOU’RE GONNA WANNA put those into the bottom of the cast iron pan and pour the “egg mixture” (like an omellete mixture- eggs, milk, cheese, the bacon and onions and mushrooms and i added broccoli and red peppers too) over it.  let it cook for a minute or two or three on the stove and then finish it in the oven.  i grated some more cheese on top and broiled it at the end. because once again who wants to live past 50?

this is a delicious green split-pea soup but it looks like cat vomit. surprise, you should sauté (make sure you have the accent on the e) some bacon and remove it leaving the fat in the pot.  add onions, celery and carrot to that.  then the split-peas.  add some stock/water and let it simmer for forever with a hunk of smoked wild turkey kielbasa (thanks dad) in there and the bacon and/or a pork hock etc you just need that smokey flavour. then remove the hunk of smokey meat of choice and pureé the soup.  iiiii put some fresh parsley on top as you can see.

last week we had a stupid party with fruit and rum and ice.  there was a pineapple leftover so i made a pineapple green curry thing.  ummmm sauté onions, garlic and ginger…add some coconut milk, green curry paste, and the pineapple. then i puréed it because i dont know I WAS FEELING FANCY. thhhhhen add some hunks of lemongrass*, some more pineapple, red pepper, green onions, bamboo shoots and baby corns aww. i had it over basmati rice and garnished with cilantro and more green onion.

*remove these it’s only for flavour you cannot eat lemongrass stalks.

K TIME TO WATCH CHUCK BYE.

like, i’m still around.

writing at other places lately but here’s some stupid shit: (because the rest of my writing is real serious and unstupid).

um, making snowglobes.

aaand baaaygaaaals.

yep.

lit up deer antlers (thanks dad…for killing all those deer) and cider and anthony bourdain’s holiday special is as christmas-y as it gets around here.

jk also this pathetic tree with dollar store toadstools on it.

i dunno.

ttyl!

thanksgiving poutine means not apologizing for who you are*

ok:

the day before thanksgiving i ran into some wood nymphs in high park and they gave me this table arrangement ON LOAN.

i made thanksgiving dinner for my two main pieces. clockwise starting at TWELVE (ON THE PLATE) we have: pile of mush 1 (stuffing with sausage, apple, mushrooms, sage, etc) pile of mush 2 (potatoes with sour cream and rosemary) pile of mush 3 (brussel sprouts with bacon) and pile of mush 4 (chicken+gravy).

also ate the rest of this pie with some pumpkin ice cream.

NOW ONTO THE MAIN EVENT: THANKSGIVING POUTINE.

make a quick ‘casserole’ with all your thanksgiving leftovers. i layered chicken, stuffing, corn (just bought some today for colour and vitamins you know) and mashed potatoes. THEN put some fries in the bottom of a bowl, THEN some gross scoops of your casserole THEN cheese curds and FINALLY you’ll want to spoon some of the leftover gravy overtop of everything.

this is in my top favourite poutine recipes FOR SURE guys.

*you are a gluttonous piece of shit.

chickpea soup

IT’S BASICALLY HOT HUMMUS.

that sounds disgusting but it’s not. one of my favourite soups i just forgot to make it for a real long time.

• two cans of chickpeas or the equivalent amount of dried (i dunno what that is im too lazy) (sometimes it’s a hard choice between lazy and cheaper)

• an onion

• a carrot

• one stalk of celery (come on guys those three things are basic soup making knowledge)

IM CURRENTLY LISTENING TO STEVE EARLE’S COPPERHEAD ROAD.

• cumin seeds. mortar and pestled the shit out of.

• cayenne pepper

• peanut butter (I KNOW. this sounds weird. but it’s actually what makes it so good and i was debating even including this because it’s my secret).

• chicken stock/vegetable stock/water

sauté those mire poix things, add the chickpeas blahblah let it simmer while you have a shower, blend it, etc etc. it’s making soup not rocket science.

if you want to be an asshole and/or heat up your kitchen even more in august you could roast a few chickpeas with salt/pepper/cumin and then use them as a garnish.

i stuck a couple rice chips in there and sprinkled some extra cumin seeds sowhat.

• oh, also garlic.

oh right blaaawg hi

hey look it’s wine-freezie-lite-brites IN ACTION!

paul is so captivating. 

today someone told me “move to nova scotia and you can have this restaurant/living space” so i made fish and chips.

the batter was a success and i think even the east coasters would approve. super crispy and light and thin! i didnt have any lemon but tarragon reminds me of lemon (i dunno?) so i added some fresh stuff to the batter.

kbye.

leftover blueberry pancakes…i put in the toaster. who knew you could do that. maybe you shouldn’t.  seemed like the least sweat-inducing method of heating. (although, a couple seconds longer and the butter oozing out of them might’ve ignited a minor fire).

hangover breakfast of champions (losers)

1) grilled steak

2) grilled asparagus

3) mushrooms in a little packet of red wine and butter and salt and pepper also on the bbq

4) over-easy egg

5) potato pancakes with grated shallots and fresh rosemary topped with sour cream and green onion (and by ‘potato pancakes’ i mean latkes and by ‘latkes’ i mean KARTOFELPUFFER. because that word is so hilariously ugly. why are german words so ugly? there is absolutely NOTHING sexy about me learning german).

6) TOAST of the rye kind

this was yesterday. today i woke up really wanting blueberry pancakes and bacon so i made blueberry pancakes and bacon and by the time it was all ready i wasnt hungry at all. NEAT STORY, THANKS SELF.

it’s too hot to cook.

hi guys. remember when this blog was more about food and less about nothing? my excuse is the title. get it? anyway, i hate summer because i cannot (should not) have a simmering pot of soup on the stove for hours, or a venison loin slowly roasting in the oven all day.

i can only eat so many bowls of cottage cheese with frozen peas and lemon juice and thyme and green onion so it was time for a salad-y thing that wasnt all cold and heartless. (is that a joke about being sick of salads without meat in them? like…without something that used to have a heart? like).

OMG JUST SAY IT TACO SALAD ALL I DID WAS MAKE A TACO SAAAAALAAAAD.

step one:  go to rowe farms on roncesvalles, and hope they have ground turkey- THEY DONT. NOT ON MONDAY JULY 25TH. you dont want to use ground chicken breast because wtf. no fat. not a lot of flavour, etc.  so give in and get the ground beef. feel a little less awful inside knowing:

wonder when you got so soft. (answer: born that way).

step two: sauté some onions and garlic, add the *gasp* ground. beef.  i added a bunch of spices, duh: chili powder, MORE LIKE CHILI POWER. um. cumin seeds, curry pow/d/er, dried oregano.

step three: start talking in the first person.

step four: i dumped a bunch of habanero salsa into it too. because there’s no fucking way im going to eat it by itself. it has become a fun game of ‘where can you hide the habanero salsa’. no actually, it hasnt. this is the only time ive ‘hidden it’. but that would be a fun game, wouldnt it?

step five?: i steamed some fresh corn i got on the weekend in bruce county. it tastes better than any corn in toronto.  also, cut up some tortillas into triangles, slosh a bit of grapeseed oil over them and bake until crispy. 

interlude: oh shit i forgot it’s the dead of summer and the plan was to avoid using the oven. 

step six: chop up whatever toppings you want. i chopped these toppings, which are visible to the human eye in that picture there above that thuuur herp derp:

- lettuce

- cherry tomatoes

- green onion

- cucumber (you might think that’s weird BUT IT’S NOT)

- fresh mint from your mom’s garden

- old white organic* cheese (i care about cow’s milk’s”s feelings but not cow’s facess”s feelings)

- ORGANIC* sour cream

build a pile of all that stuff and squeeze some lime on top and you might be tricked into thinking the mint is cilantro!

HOT TIPS: because you (i) are (am) poor, throw in a can of beans to “STRECH IT OUT”. i am going to do that tonight.

eat it with this drink that is pretty much this drink but with some fresh mint and blueberries muddled in the bottom first. REFRESHING.

*it is of the utmost importance you use ORGANIC and if you do not, the devil, amy winehouse and/or someone tending the garden on parts and labours’ rooftop will cut you.

paul and i (paul*) planted about a billion tomato plants yesterday along with some purple basil, normal basil, parsley, rosemary, tarragon and thyme. 

we (he) planted the basil in between the tomato plants because they’re supposed to help eachother or something fairytaledreamland like that.

*in my defense i was making split pea soup with leftover pork roast and picking lilacs across the street.  and yes we are martha stewarts’ wet dream. if this whole scenario didnt make you gag maybe that image** will. HOORAY!

**not the image i posted above. the image your mind created of martha stewart having a wet dream. IDONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS POST IS ABOUT ANYMORE.

sidetracked

let’s see…i was googling images to find an example of something i wanted mocked up at work (wow that sounds douchey) and somehow came across the most adorable flikr stream EVAAAR:

take a look! i know at least one person (cough amanda) who might be interested in those turkey earrings…

edit: you can buy her stuff here. i am seriously in love. HANDMADE TO ORDER. this girl is a fairy witch dreamweaver magical elf.

paul and i went to high park today to practice our baseballs skills. 

i drank two magners and used a log as a bat.

got home and made pasta with a bunch of stuff in it. first time making pasta in the new place wooooooooo.  it maybe turned out the best yet even though we (and by ‘we’ i mean paul) used a new kind of flour.  kbye.
ps: it looks like there’s a junebug in it. in the mid-right there. mmmmm.